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Tuesday, January 18, 2011

These brownies are so beautiful they should be called "Queen of the Universe"

Ok, so I'm fulfilling my promise to Sabrina to write. As I review my other posts, I realize that there has been a lot of introspection and philosophy in my posts and well, frankly, that has to stop. I'm really tired of all the looking inward and wrestling matches with my mind and the tag team matches (where someone close to me runs to my corner and my hand gets tagged from behind the ropes and next thing you know, I'm in) from the other middle agers around me. About three minutes ago, I look a tray of homemade brownies out of the oven. I set them down on the counter and took in a deep, cocoa-scented, mouthwatering breath. Then, a sigh. Watery eyes. Small tear. I'm on a gluten free diet (well, at least 90% of the time) and these brownies are so NOT gluten free. Hmmm, not matter. I know full well that I will have a little piece and that's good enough to keep me contented. When I was mixing the batter, I looked down at the perfect consistency of the batter in my bowl and said out loud " these brownies are so beautiful they should be called Queen of the Universe" and then I laughed, again out loud. Actually, this is not my recipe but one I have made before from the Donna Hay cookbook I keep handy in the kitchen. She has great recipes. Simple and very tasty. The kind of recipes that make you say "Holy Crap" at the dinner table and then have to apologize and tell your kids not to say " Holy Crap!" at the dinner table.

What else? Oh, yeah: people need to stop crapping on FB that it's cold out. If you were born here and this "phenomenon" surprises you very year so much so that you need to tell your plethora FB "friends", half of which grew up with you spending hours on end after school and on the weekends outside in minus 30 degree temperatures with your scarves frozen to your upper lips and snow caked to the ass of your Kmart snowsuit, uh, you need to get over it ( I was going to say "you need a slap in the face" but I promised to keep my edit button on so as not to offend). Drink some hot coffee, wear socks, put a friggin' hat on (because face it, you're not cool anyway) and warm up your car. Problem solved.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Twisting Kaleidoscope

I had the most amazing day with my most amazing 17 year old daughter. We had our hair done, shopped and talked about life, friendship and love. It is through her that I am reminded of the sheer awesomeness (I think that's a word??Sounds good!) of life. Life is waiting for her, life is waiting for us all. It doesn't have to be a huge, explosive, life-changing event. It can be simple and sweet. Like today. A simple day, with my awesome daughter. Sometimes, I can get caught up in BIG dreams, BIG changes, BIG moments, don't we all? Today I stand corrected by life itself. Life reminded me that it is exciting and fulfilling in small and big ways. It is up to us to take life up on it's offer to have fun and simply enjoy what is right in front of us.

More quotes that I love.

There's a time for everyone if they only learn

That the twisting kaleidoscope moves us all in turn

"Can you feel the love tonight" Elton John
A very timely post, my friend Sabrina. That quote just about sums it up.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Our Deepest Fears

Last night I was going to end my day frustrated and discouraged by my "reality". Then, I decided that even if I cannot have all that I dream , I do have the power to change the way it makes me feel. Last week, a friend told me that the reason I am not heading in the direction I want my life to go is because I was too afraid, hiding behind my "reality". At the moment, I brushed these wise words off, too afraid to let them seep in, then I would actually have to acknowledge the truth. Last night I decided to allow myself to be honest, at least with myself. I am not ready to share what I discovered, still too afraid. However, I leave you with this quote, one of my favorites. Allow it to guide you wherever it may.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Marianne Williamson

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Is it possible to have it all?

I just finished having a very insightful conversation with my significant other about my thoughts, goals and dreams for my life. It was insightful because his honest, "realistic" take on life has brought me crashing down back to earth. Don't you just hate it when someone wipes out your dreams in seconds? With one word, one look it was gone. I wanted to scream, cry, jump up and down (yes, I can still do that!?) and tell him he was wrong!! I CAN have it all. I can make all my dreams come true and still find balance and peace. I can. Right???
The answer is ...I don't know anymore. Actually, I do know. I know that I am not super human, without physical limits. I also know that I am stubborn and determined and I hate it when someone tells me I can't.
This conversation also made me realize that two people that love each other don't always grow in the same direction.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy New Day!

Somehow, a new year always seems to offer an opportunity for reflection and change. This new year is a little different because I've been trying to celebrate "happy new day" all year. I've been feeling a little philosphical lately, who I'm I kidding, I've been feeling philosphical since I was 5 years old listening to sad italien songs on my 8 track player. Anywhow, time for change and reflection began a while ago, but this year it has become even more personal. This is the year I turn 40!! That's right, the big 40. I am so excited about the possibilities and grateful to be feeling healthy and full of life. I plan on taking care the gifts I've been given. I feel great about the year ahead and I can't wait to share it with you. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Friday, December 24, 2010

Another Year, Another Blog

I find myself sitting across this screen wondering where the time has gone. It seems that minutes, hours can pass by so slowly and then suddenly a whole year has gone by. I had so many plans this year, so many promises made to myself. I went to bed many times saying to myself " Tomorrow is THE day!" I woke up the next morning and said." THIS is THE day..." Then I got up, and suddenly all of those good, solid intentions, shot right out the dirty window in my room!
This year however, was different! It was different because I never stopped trying to get it done. I never gave up on my promises to me. That's a start , right?
Well, year one of the blog is almost over, but my intentions to live the life I know I am meant to have are still there, waiting..